Let's talk about the failed relationship ?
I've never been so public talking about this topic before but right now , I've decided to really let go and thus I'm gonna be posting every single shit I could really remember about me and 315 . (Obviously I ain't gonna be putting the real name over here . But those that really knows me well would know whats the name anyway .) I won't be mentioning any name here too unless necessary . Probably this would be the bravest post I have ever written . I've spend like 1 week thinking about how do I write this post and hmm . I don't know if it would be as long as the love story of XiaXue and her Husband but I just hope it'll be enough for everyone to understand .
So basically , I supposed it all started around April of 2012 . I was close with this guy , "A" . And "A" likes Fish . But 315 doesn't like her back . And there you know there will be like relationships problem especially when "A" is a low self-esteem guy . One day while I was doing my homework , I needa helps from friends and 315 is like willing to help me . And then we exchanged number and we started viber photos around for our homework as I still didn't have whatsapp at that point of time . One day "A" was damn emo and he was like totally shattered . Then I'm like , okay , how about I go talk to her . So there was this night . I suppose its a Sunday night because I remember there is still school the next day . I was talking to her . I asked her about "A" and how 315 feels about "A" . And I continue asking her all those relationships question . And I swear she's damn cooperative in answering all my questions nicely . Even though we have been neighbouring classmates & then that year we were in the same class , we didn't even talk a single bit before in school . So she's able to trust me that much and answer all my question I'm so freaking glad that night . We talked till about 1AM + through the night and then we're like okay , it's time to stop . There's still school tomorrow . Let's sleep . And its a very emotional chat that night . That was like the first time ever we chatted for that long . And the day after that we continue chatting . But to me those chats wasn't really like , serious or important to me . Its just like so basic common chatting between friends till around 19 May 2012 . I started to care about how I look or feels to her . So I asked her this question .
And yes . After that day we continued talking almost everyday from After school till Night then Morning till school again . Unknowingly I'm getting closer and closer to 315 .
We were exchanging selcas (Self-Capture also known as Zilians) from here there everywhere . Everytime I head to outside I would always take a few photos and whatsapp her . And 315 will do that too . So basically our phone got all our glam and unglam photos haha . Then I'll be like . You take this photo , show it to me only and no one else . And thus I will do it for 315 too . Thats when I feel that 315 is not only my friend but my best friend .
And then on 29May2012 . 315 sent me the first ever cutest message I receive from her ever . She sent this .
Soon after that , it was the June holidays . 315 was in the School's team that was going oversea to Taiwan for around like a week ? Firstly wasn't that sad about it . Was just talking until when she went to Taiwan and we can't talk for around a week . I was thinking about shits like in the morning in the night and everything . Was so moody that week that I actually realize 315 was something more than a best friend to me .
Told her that I would miss her and she needed talk to me whenever she got the chance before she went on the plane . That whole week . She didn't have much chance to talk to me . I would always on my ringtone loud enough so whenever there is a notification I would just jump and run to where my phone is . Disappointment everytime when my phone ring and its just some game notifications or other shits or it'll be chat from other people and not her etc . I swear that week was a pretty though one . Listening to all those Avril Lavigne emo songs . That week was hard to get by .
Finally after a week . She's finally back on 4June2012 . Had the rush to go to Airport to see her . Was still considering whether if I should go or not . Untill "A" asked me if he should go . Then I'm like , I'll go with you . Then both us went at night around 7 . Remember I had to lie to "A"'s mum so that he could actually come out . A white lie anyway . We took bus "858" to the airport . We met at the interchange first and "A" was late . So we were rather rushing for time . Then when we went to the 858 boarding place a 858 just came but then went off without stopping as it didn't see us . Then we're like whattheshit . Time delayed again . The next bus came rather late . Went onto the bus and when the bus reached somewhere around yishun only my phone Changi Airport app told me that 315's plane has landed . Both us started panicking . Went up to the bus driver to ask him to drive faster twice . People are saying that they are coming out soon . The feeling of scared that once we reach there 315 would be gone . Finally we reached Changi and we ran out of the bus . And I had no idea why do we know where to run to . We just continued running and saw where our school mates were . Were god damn happy and lucky that they were still not out yet . Was like so so so . I just don't know how to describe the feeling back then . Finally , after awhile . They came out . Saw 315 & friends . For that few seconds , our eyes exchanged glance . I was happy . Then after debriefing , 315 was gone . Went walking around with "A' in the airport with that heavy mood . Was just randomly walking around trying to cheer ourself up . Went home at around 11 . Took the MRT back . "A" was using my phone . 315 whatsapped me . "A" went to check his phone . 315 didn't whatsapp him . And there "A" goes again . Emotional for the whole trip back from Changi back to Woodlands . Reached home around 12+ . That night . I was thinking . Am I really right to feel/be close with 315 ?
Afterall the main reason both us started talking was because of "A" . So that night I told myself & her & him , that I would give up and stop talking to 315 . I was scolded stupid , silly and whatever . That night was a disaster .
The next day , Couldn't really take it and went back talking with 315 . Asked "A" if it was okay . He said ofcourse . So I continued talking with 315 . 315 was sick the moment she was back . Having flu . She still had her CCA camp . Asked her not to go but she insist . Kinda quarreled over it but yeah . She still went for her camp after promising to take care of herself . Glad that she would whatsapp at night . Even if its only for those few minutes . It was a 3D2N camp . On the day she came back from the camp , she whatsapp me when she went out of school . Woke up by the whatsapp and we started talking . Asked her to go back home and rest immediately . After a few weeks , she had to go to Hong Kong with her Parents . Another weeks that we can't talk . She had to buy the internet over at the HongKong's Hotel to have wifi and be able to use her com and stuff . Didn't really had much time talking to her too . Hmmmm . But we still talk whenever possible . :D Had our first class outing at that time . She couldn't go and was god damn sad over it . :( . However I just kept sending photos over to her . Haha .
During one of the Science practical lesson I made a mess at the back and then I was moved to the front to sit with 315 . That time was damn awkward . Didn't really talk much to 315 . God damn awkward . haha .
Then everything just went well till around September . Where I somehow feel that 315 is in love with this guy "B" . I started getting jealous whenever I see 315 with "B" . Been so moody those few days and I stop talking to 315 . Around a day or so 315 came and asked what happened . We talked and I didn't told her I am jealous of "B" . Then we somehow just continued talking . Soon days just passed . Around November , I had to go to Thailand Chiang Mai as part of the school's OCIP team . It's then another week that we can't talk . Ofcourse before going and all we said what are we supposed to do during the few days I'm at Thailand . The day went pass smoothly and also since I'm in the AV team of the OCIP team I get to use the computer for the whole trip . I talked to 315 whenever I could and I ask her to come online at every 11 AM ~ 3 PM cause I'll be roughly online at that hour . And also then during somewhere in the middle of the trip where me and my team change hostel to sleep in and we finally gottten some chance to chat . Was talking to her as many as I could . After that I told her the timing I'll be arriving back at Singapore . Although I know she wouldn't come but I still told her that I wished that she would come to the airport . I told her every details of my flight and yeah even though she didn't came over to airport to fetch me but she was the first the talked to me when I reach Singapore and had the connection . Was very happy at that point of time . Things goes pretty smoothly and we had another Class Outing at November and 315 went as well . We went to Palawan Beach and played and then went back to school for BBQ . Had quite a lot of fun together . Was in the same playing team as 315 .
Things continue to go pretty smoothly till 2013 . We had lots of interaction during 2013 . Be it just through whatsapp or interclass event etc . Till recently theres this guy "C" that came into her life . Was again god damn moody . Jealous everytime I see them together . Sometimes I just wonder where and why ain't I good enough for her . Everything I do is just only as good as a good friend to her . Again , I stopped talking to her for like a week or so . Then 315 stopped following me on Twitter . Which hurts me like god damn much inside . Then I went to text her ask her not to unfollow and I'll try to get over everything and talk to her again . Then after Prelims 2 , I started talking to her . Even though we may not talk much nowadays . But I'm still trying to really get over . Hope that I will succeed someday ? Thanks to her , her drawing was like absolutely god damn good and whenever I'm sad or what she'll just draw pigs to cheer up . She make me fall in loves with pigs and then she sure bright up my life throughout this two years . I seriously can't imagine what my life would be without 315 . I was so close to being someone close to her and then I fall right from the top to the bottom . I ain't even 315 bestfriend anymore .
If only 315 could be with me forever.
If you've made your way to read all the way till here I thank you for that , I just hope that you will not take any shits out here and rubbish your way out there . What's here you read it and you don't rubbish about it .
I know this post might be boring shits or whatever . But I'm just posting my feelings out here . Probably the next post over here would be Teacher's Day post as Teacher's day is just next week . Hope I would be better by then . Cheers . Make sure you do not take anything out from here and rubbish it outside .
This is KimTaevin pressing the Publish button .
Supposingly I wasn't gonna post the second part of the post but then now I just hope someone would read it and then something else would change . If not . I've got nothing I could do anymore .
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